I am not sure who I am right now.
This:
out of control
ultra alert
having different routines
existing in different places.
I can't breathe.
I eat at different times, watch different movies. I never feel quite hungry, like before. How can everything be so FAST when time has actually slowed down? Things blurry, but sharp.
Things don't look the same either. My living room is not mine. My kitchen is not mine. My backyard is not mine. My shoes are not mine. My plants are not mine. My food is not mine. My containers are not mine. The air I can't breathe is not mine.
My clothes are, sadly, mine.
There is something else in the space that I should be.
My heart is loud and my stomach feels foreign.
I am reluctantly floating.
And shaky.
Biological detritus.
Belonging nowhere.
